I Shall Not Want...Maybe

Although I haven't been a church going soul in quite some time, a lot of the very basic principals taught in church have stuck with me. The bit that's been getting me lately is wealth and possession and what we think we need and/or deserve.

The reason this has been coming up for me is that I'm really crossing my fingers that I'll have a new job shortly (or rather, an additional job) and I'm already starting to count the money. It's a bad habit, but I'm a dreamer. I get to thinking about paying all my bills off and after I've eliminated my emediate debt how great it would be to buy a new car. Not just any car, but a nice used sporty car. I'm thinking a 2004 Ford Mustang Mach I would be nice. Then I start thinking about how selfish that is to spend all that kind of money when I could get something much more simple that would still get me from point A to point B. A lot of people would respond to that, "If it's the car you want and you have the funds to get it, just get it." We live in this society where we tell ourselves we deserve these things and that we should reward ourselves for our hardwork. However, most major religions have their own concept of the afterlife or reincarnation, and go on to say that our we our meant to suffer while we live this life. Our hard work will go on to be rewarded when we have left this world (or when we are reincarnated in our next life, depending on the religion). Few mention that our hard work will be rewarded now in this life with fast cars. Of course a car and unimaginable rewards of the afterlife are hardly equal rewards.

Part of me thinks that taking a vow of poverty and giving up things like guitar amps and drumsets and xBoxes would be the humble or noble thing to do. Then there is the rationalizing part of me that argues a certain amount of wealth is necessary to perpetuate our survival and the ability to help others. Take a look at Bill Gates. I'm a Mac user, not a big Microsoft fan, but I can't deny that he's used his considerable wealth to help thousands of people. He probably has a decent wardrobe, but many times you see him in a basic sweater and khakis. He isn't wearing Armani suits, but he isn't a slob either. Now if Bill Gates one day sold everything he had, went around wearing sweat pants, and drove around in a used Honda Civic, people would think he was crazy. He might take all the wealth he gained from selling those possessions/stock/whatever and donate it to several worthy causes, but that would be it. He'd have nothing more to give. At the moment he can continue to generate considerable wealth because he also holds onto much of it. Now, if we all took a vow of poverty and then went on to share our wealth with other nations, that might do some good. But if we were all smart enough to do that, then life wouldn't have to be suffering in the first place because we'd all be helping each other and pledging to be equal (because we've all promised to be poor). Effectively we'd be creating a utilitarian society. In the real world, it just could never work that way.

Certainly if my goal was to stay a Realtor, I'd be expected to maintain a certain amount of wealth. One needs to display a certain amount of success to others so that they are confident in your abilities. My success indicates that I have made my clients successful, or else they wouldn't have given me their business. If Donald Trump took up residence in a cheap apartment and wined and dined his business partners at Taco Bell, they wouldn't take him seriously and would take their buisness elsewhere. To some extent this applies to most jobs. People notice your appearance, what you wear, what you drove into the parking lot, and other little details, even if only subconsciously. They account for these details when they interview you for a job. They might not care what kind of car you drive, but if one fender is a different color than the rest of the car, they might hold it against you. We're all superficial about something.

So if my goal is to be a high school math teacher, is there any way for me to say that I need a nice used sporty car? I'm not sure there is. That doesn't mean I still don't want one. It's not as if I am a monk or even that I subscribe to a specific world religion. Still I can't help but feel that we reward ourselves a little too often and maybe we need to worry about the welfare of the rest of the world. What really kills me is that there will probably be a day when I talk myself into buying such a car and I'll forget all about this. Someone will tell me I deserve it and it's okay, and I'll believe them because I want to. It isn't as if I'm going to go tell everyone to get rid of their cars. My grandpa has three extra cars that he doesn't need. He just likes them. If I call him up and tell him he needs to sell his cars, that's the same as judging him. And if it were in fact wrong/uncessesary to have these nice things, selling them would only make a guilty party out of the new buyer. Do you see how ever solution has a new problem attached with it? Hell, I could argue that me spending more on a car than I need creates a chain of supply and demand that puts food on someone else's table. If life is meant to be suffering, then no amount of sacrifice is going to make the suffering any better, and all people of the world will never experience the equal amounts of suffering in our life time. That is, unless World War III starts tomorrow and all bets are off.

It's a lot to think about. It's no wonder I'm stressed out.